I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
