dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
