He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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