Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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