that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize