I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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