I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
