she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
