butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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