The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
