see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
