He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
