My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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