No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
