STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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