they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Mom said you looked used
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
