last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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