Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wish you could order shots online.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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