Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
