STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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