hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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