i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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