Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
