I am puke
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
