Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
