sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just googled if crying burns calories
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
