He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
