i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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