god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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