We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
