in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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