I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
