somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just come out here and I will go home with you...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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