i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
