I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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