Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
