The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
