Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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