I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
