Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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