True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
