I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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