New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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