let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
