you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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