I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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