You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
