i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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