hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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