Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
