he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
the liver wants what the liver wants
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
