I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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