Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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