To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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