I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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