nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
