We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
