Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
